The thing that I was afraid of……

When I was young like 6-7 years old I always wanted to grow up but now when I am 16 years old and now when I am growing up the pressure or the realization that I am going to be an adult has struck me so hard that I am afraid of that concept in total.

I remember when I was younger in my Bengali class I used to tell my teacher that I want to grow up as fast as possible because they don’t have any work at all – I was so wrong. I used to see all of the seniors of the school passing out and would just imagine myself that one day I will be in their position and it would be so relieving. What I thought was just like a thunder – first you see the lighting and then you hear the tremendous loud noise. 

In my complex there used to be at least 15 children of my age group When we all were young we used to have so much of fun that can never  be expressed in words, but now we all have got so involved with our own lives that we don’t hangout anymore, everyone is all concerned with their own lives. Seeing such a drastic change in the behavior of everyone haunts me.

At present more children who are young are playing, reminds me of the early days of my life. It brings tears in my eyes, these tears are for the old days of my life, are for the fact that those days will never come back, are for these children who are playing and laughing their lungs out and are for the fact that I am really afraid of my future.

Seeing all my friends starting to prepare themselves for their future,going for various coaching and various counseling  sessions is just making me scared. I can’t believe that I was young few years back when I didn’t have to think about my future or anything. The constant alarm that rings on my head that I am not a child anymore my teen years are going to end and I have to entire the dreadful world being an adult facing all my hurdles by myself although my parents will be their by my side but even though I want to face these hurdles by myself so that I can prepare myself for my life. The condition that I am in is very contrasting but I am fine with such I contrasting life at the moment cause I will never like a life which is plain I would like a life which has ups and downs but I am strong enough to overcome such ups and downs.

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